My Sister and Me

Today is my sister, Janice’s birthday.  Being a gentleman, I will not disclose her age here.  Suffice it to say… I am older.  In fact, for nearly seven years before she came along, I was the baby of the family. 

We were reminiscing recently about a birthday she had a few years back when she turned 19.   The night before her birthday, I asked her what she wanted to do for the big day.  After all, this was going to be the last of her teen years.  I told her that I would take her anywhere she wanted to go to celebrate the occasion and Janice, being the low maintenance gal that she is, suggested Beefsteak Charlie’s (remember that?). 

You can imagine her delight, when I recommended that she and I take a trip to Disney World instead.  At first I don’t think she believed me, but after a few minutes on the phone, I had secured us rooms at the Polynesian Village Resort (someone had canceled just minutes before) and booked us two airline tickets. 

Beautiful Walt Disney World

There is a lot that I can tell you about this very eventful trip but there was one incident that stands out above all the other adventures, and once you read this you will understand why… 

After three days and two nights at the Polynesian Village Resort, our room was no longer available.  Remember, I had only gotten the room because someone else canceled so we were restricted only to the time of their reservation.  I was hoping (beyond hope) that another room would open, but this was the early 1980’s and The Polynesian was THE place to stay in Disney back then.  

It wasn’t a big problem, a friendly young lady at the front desk recommended that we take a ride along International Drive and get ourselves a room in a hotel/motel, as there were many to choose from on the Drive.  Our Disney passes were good whether or not we were staying at one of the two (that’s right two) Disney properties or not.   Back then it was only the Contemporary or The Polynesian.  In fact the week we arrived, Epcot had just opened.  It didn’t even have all the countries built yet. 

As we drove along the grand route of International Drive, we decided on the Davis Brother’s Smorgasbord Café and Motor Lodge, mostly because we were young and really found the name to be a lot of fun.  Well we didn’t know exactly WHAT fun was going to be in store for us that night. 

After an opulent dinner at the smorgasbord (aptly named by the way) we settled into our room to plan the next day at the park and watch a little TV.  We were asleep by ten. 

About 1:00 AM we were startled awake by a loud pounding on what we thought was our door, but turned out it was the door next to us.  Janice and I both sat upright in bed as a woman began to yell at the top of her lungs, “Open up the F-en door!  I know you’re in there! I followed you, you dirty bastards!”

Finally, we heard the squeak of the door as it slowly opened.  A man with a hillbilly accent was trying his best to convince this woman (who appeared to be his wife) that he was alone in the room and had just stopped in to sleep off his drunk. 

Suddenly we heard, “F— she has a gun… Watch out!” 

At that point I turned to my sister and said, “Hit the deck… get on the floor and lie flat.  Don’t move!”  We both were on the floor and holding hands in a heartbeat. 

The drama continued…

Woman with the gun:  “What’s your name whore?”

Frightened Adulteress:  “Cindy…. Please don’t shoot me!”

Woman with the gun:  “Well Cindy, you know what I want you to do for me whore?  Get on your knees and show me what you do for my husband!  Do it!  Now!” 

Apparently there was a bit of hesitation that the scorned woman didn’t approve of so she continued even louder, “Put this F-en gun in your mouth Cindy and show me what you do for my husband.  Do it to my gun, zackly like ya do to my husband, you whore!” 

Through all of this madness, the husband was pleading with his irate wife to put the gun down before she hurt someone.  He quickly shut up when she threatened to have his genitals be the first thing she shoots! 

Well finally the police arrived, the drama continued for a couple of hours but I am happy to report, Cindy, the adulterer and the scorned wife all managed to remain unharmed and gunshot free, as did Janice and I. 

We were in a room on the second floor, not the last room but the one before it.  The drama took place in the last room.  The next day as Janice and I left our room to go have a smorgasbord breakfast, we noticed that all the people from our motel (which had been invaded by the gray panthers) were looking at us as if we were dirty.  All of these senior citizens thought that Janice and I were Cindy and company!  Of course I had to add my usual fuel to the fire by calling Janice, Cindy (quite loudly and often) during our entire breakfast. 

Yes, some birthday celebrations you can never forget! 

Happy birthday Janice!  I love you more than words can say and am thankful to have you as my sister each and every day of my life.

Janice & Me

Until next time,

Don